Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
