So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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