I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
