Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
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