Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
