shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
