just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Randomize