if you like me you must not know who I am
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
