Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
