she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize