Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
