Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
