yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
