So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
