Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Randomize