forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
