worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
