he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
We smell like vodka and hangover
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