I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Pooping to opera.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
