respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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