i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize
