i jhust puked up my retainher.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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