ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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