You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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