sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
