Yo dont text me then not text me
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You're like the curious george of whores
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
