He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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