did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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