I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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