i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
