Got a toothbrush?
I hate all girls vehemently.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
she pinky promised me she was 18
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
