My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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