The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Randomize
