two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
