i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
