Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
