I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
