Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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