I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
