I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
