my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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