ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize