Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
