When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
