whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
