i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize
