just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
