He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
