I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
