I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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