after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Let's paint friendship bongs
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
