I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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