no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize