But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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