Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Randomize
