first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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