Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
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