So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
