his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
