It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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