I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
