There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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